Advocating with Grace

This is what my 6yo son told me and his vice principal two days ago. “Nobody likes me. I don’t know why I feel like this but I don’t want to be alive.” This is not the first time he has said something like this, and in the past he has exhibited self-harming behaviors. When I looked up the list of childhood mental health providers that the counselor gave me to schedule an assessment, it really struck me how serious it is.

He wrote on the whiteboard in the school conference room in red dry erase marker “No Body likes [Storm].” In black underneath he wrote “[Storm] doesnt want to de aLive!” Then he drew a broken heart over it. This is only the 3rd week of 1st grade. He wouldn’t erase it until I took a picture of it because he wanted “everyone” to see it.

When we got home from therapy that night, he told the Captain and me that he couldn’t say a sentence to explain why he felt like that.

We love this child so much it hurts. He is a blessing in so many ways. To hear him say that he wants to die tears us up inside. But honestly, we don’t think it’s a suicidal thought process, but rather a wish to escape the sensory overload and frustration from the expectations he sets for himself.

Either way, he will get help.

Yesterday he had, according to him, the greatest day ever!

This morning, he had a rough start, but when I walked back to my car, I knew everything would be alright.


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